Some years back, I was working with a sales director who would pop in and offer to make teas and coffees for all present. He then spent the next 15 minutes brewing up and making small talk. Other times, he would drop in on a warm day with ice cream for all! He was a likable fellow AND was an excellent salesman and relationship builder.
It was only some years later that I realised he was putting Robert Cialdini’s persuasion principle of ‘reciprocation’ into action – and very effectively. Let me illustrate what reciprocation means with the results from one of Cialdini’s experiments:
Picture this ‘Candid Camera’ type situation:
A researcher, Joe, and another individual are standing in a room doing some work together. They don’t really know each other. Joe leaves the room and comes back with two bottles of Coke – he gives one to his temporary colleague. After about 30 minutes, Joe asks his colleague to buy a substantial number of raffle tickets.
This is repeated a number of times – all with Joe – but with a different colleague/stranger each time.
Except – in some situations Joe gave out a bottle of Coke, and in some he did not.
The results? Joe sold, on average, twice as many raffle tickets to the person who was given the Coke compared with the person who was given no drink.
The Conclusion?
Cialdini found out, through this and similar experiments, that we humans have a very powerful obligation to reciprocate any favour given to us. We don’t like to feel indebted for any period of time (which is why Joe didn’t offer to buy a Coke – he just gave it unsolicited – as many people would have declined an offer).
The eye-opener here, however, is that the size of the original favour can be much, much smaller than what is requested later. Nobody is saying ‘well you got me a one euro bottle of Coke – so I’ll buy only one euro worth of raffle tickets’.
We often find ourselves in work situations where we ask ourselves ‘who can help me here – who can I persuade?’ – but this may be a short-sighted approach to influencing others. Instead, ask yourself ‘whom can I help more often’ – knowing that the principle of reciprocation and the social obligation it confers on others will make future requests more effective.
Practical Karma in action!